If this comedy thing doesn't work out, I'm going to move to Denmark, South Carolina and open a bakery called, “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Baking Bread.” That’s right, a Shakespearean themed bakery because I am trying to corner that elusive classic British literature enthusiast market that all the other bakeries have been ignoring. Also, because I want to give a food critic the chance to write this line in a review: “Something tastes delicious in the city of Denmark.”

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Baking Bread, home of the Hamlet and Cheese croissant, A Midsummer's Boston Creme, Two Gingerbread Men from Verona, and other punily named baked goods dedicated to the Shakespearean oeuvre.