Consult Your Doctor

Consult Your Doctor

Doctor Cruz: “What seems to be troubling you, Mr. Smith?”

Mr. Smith: “The last few days, I have been having terrible stomach cramps and serious lower back pain.”

Doctor Cruz: “Alright, Mr. Smith, let me take a look at you.”

Mr. Smith: “Okay.”

Doctor Cruz examines Mr. Smith.

Doctor Cruz: “From the outside, you look fine, Mr. Smith.  Have you made any major lifestyle changes lately, such as a new diet or exercise program?”

Mr. Smith: “No, not really. Well, I did start walking on sunshine a few weeks ago.”

Doctor Cruz: “Walking on sunshine, oh my God, no. Mr. Smith, how long have you been doing this?”

Mr. Smith: “I don’t know, maybe three or four weeks, tops. It was a little painful at first, but now it’s starting to feel good.”

Doctor Cruz: “Mr. Smith, I want you to listen to me very carefully walking on sunshine is dangerous. If you keep doing this activity, you’re going to die. In fact, I’m not even sure how you’re even alive now. Every time you walk on a ray of sunshine, you increase your chances of getting melanoma and other fatal skin cancers a million times more than by ordinary walking.”

Mr. Smith: “Okay so walking on sunshine is out. What if I start walking on the moon instead? Do you think that is going to be safer, doctor?”

Doctor Cruz: “No, and could you please stop taking fitness advice from ‘80s pop songs?”

Mr. Smith: “What about Let’s Get Physical?”

Doctor Cruz: “Mr. Smith, nobody likes a smart ass.”