Tony: Hey Luigi, why you look so sad?
Luigi: Linda is leaving me, Tony.
Tony: I’m so sorry, Luigi.
Luigi: You know what this means for the Pizza Palace, Tony?
Tony: No, Luigi.
Luigi: It means HALF PRICED PIZZAS ON TUESDAYS! ALL SIZES, ALL DAY, HALF PRICE! Dine in or carry out only.
Tony: Half price pizzas on Tuesdays, all sizes, all day, dine in or carry out only? That’s crazy! That’s almost like giving it away!
Luigi: And it doesn’t stop there Tony. On Thursdays I’ll give any customer who tries our new “She’ll Never Get A Single Dime From Me” lunch buffet, two free stamps on their Luigi’s Pizza Palace Frequent Eaters card.
Tony: Now I know you’re crazy! Two free stamps on their Frequent Eaters card, that’s madness. You okay, Luigi, you need me to call you a doctor?
Luigi: I’m feeling great, Tony.
Tony: Then why you make such crazy deals?
Luigi: Because at Luigi’s Pizza Palace our customers are like family, so if my soon to be ex-wife is going to get half, then the customers are going to get half on Tuesdays!
Tony: Luigi, with deals like this, how are we going to make any money?
Luigi: Just because my life is going to pieces doesn’t mean our customers’ wallets have too, so come on down to Luigi’s Pizza Palace--great food, better prices.
Tony: Seriously Luigi, you should see a therapist about Linda.